I have been considering writing about relationships for a while but kept changing my mind because my track history of relationships of any kind is not exactly good! But I am sure I am not the only one with negative tales to tell about this subject, so I hope some of you at least can relate.
Firstly, parental relationships; in actuality I could probably write a book about how awful my relationship was with my parents! This is in part because my mother was abusive towards me. However, I never felt that I could connect with them. I remember when I was three, watching my mother in her bedroom (whilst awaiting a telling off). She was kneeling on the floor peeling off a face mask and I thought she was like an alien and we were completely different types of beings.
As for friendships, I have always struggled. I don’t know if it’s because I say the wrong thing, act inappropriately or am just not reciprocating time and caring efficiently. I have always found friendships intensely difficult to maintain. Even when I was four I would prefer to be on my own, preferably being creative or reading, than being amongst my classmates. Consequentially I love Facebook, via which I have numerous lovely friends! I find it easier to communicate online and there is far less pressure with online friendships. I don’t have to present myself a specific way, put on the mask that I wear to pretend I am ‘normal’ and part of society. I don’t even have to fake a smile!
Finally, the most difficult one for me: romantic relationships. I can’t seem to meet the ‘right’ men and I frequently confuse friendliness for a more romantic interest in me. I mean, how do other people know these things?! I like romance, I like affection and the security of being in a relationship. So how do I end up getting it so wrong?!
Sadly I don’t have the answers; I really wish I did! There are probably a lot of neurotypicals (non-ASD people) who wish they had the answers too, at least I think so. It is a very common problem for Aspies. Real life, and real relationships of any kind, are very confusing to me. I think this article should include a suggestion box at the end!
All joking aside, if you are having difficulties making and maintaining relationships, you are not alone.
Love and peace to you all.
becciaspielife 